There is one thing that I’m almost always afraid of:
expressing my feelings, ideas, or thoughts in front of people.
It can be anywhere:
- during a meeting (formal or informal),
- during a gathering,
- even in a small discussion with family.
The pattern is always the same. Before I speak, my brain will start running all the bad scenarios:
- What will happen if I say this?
- What will other people respond?
- What if they reject the idea?
- What if they mock me?
- What if this is not relevant?
- What if people dislike it?
These questions keep repeating in my head again and again… until the moment passes, the meeting ends, the event is over — and I say nothing.
Most of the time, I normalize it.
I tell myself, “It’s okay, I’m just a quiet person.”
At best, I will only share my idea or story to 1–2 people that I really trust.
So what’s the result?
Sometimes, nothing happens. Life just moves on.
But there were 1–2 moments where someone else finally shared my idea to other people… and took the credit.
And that is something I really regret.
What Am I Actually Afraid Of?
Because of that, I started to push myself to solve this problem.
I began to question myself:
- What do I really fear?
- Am I overthinking?
- Why do I always see the negative side first?
I tried to “fix” it in a logical way.
I read books, like Stop Overthinking by Nick Trenton.
I talked to some friends about how to overcome this fear.
All of them were right about the methodology:
- challenge your thoughts,
- don’t jump into conclusions,
- reframe negative thinking,
- just let it go … let it go
I completely agree with all of that.
But then one big question came to my mind:
If all the methods are correct…
why am I still the same?
I realized the answer is not only about technique.
The biggest problem is not just what other people think.
The biggest problem is actually how I see myself.
Because honestly, I’ve had moments where:
- I finally shared an idea,
- people reacted positively,
- I got good feedback…
…and still, the next time I’m in a meeting, the same fear comes back again.
So clearly, external validation alone cannot fix this.
Life Is a Reflection of How You See Yourself
Yesterday, one of my leaders said something that really hit me.
He said:
“Life is a reflection of how you see yourself.
If you see yourself as a coward or stupid,
others will see you the same way.
We share our energy to others,
and they will respond based on the way we see ourselves.”
I paused when I heard that.
Because it’s true.
If deep inside I see myself as:
- not good enough,
- always wrong,
- always less than others,
then I will act like that:
- I will stay quiet,
- I will hold back,
- I will overthink every move.
And people will feel that energy.
Not because they hate me, but because that’s what I’m projecting.
He also reminded me of something simple, but powerful:
“There is no perfect human.
Mistakes and failures are just part of life.
If you face it, think about how to make it better.”
So the real issue is not:
- “What if I am wrong?”
The real issue is: - “Can I accept that sometimes I will be wrong and still choose to show up?”
Starting Anyway (Even If It’s Not 100% Right)
That conversation really encouraged me.
It made me realize something:
Maybe what I share will not be 100% right.
Maybe some of my thoughts are still immature.
Maybe some people will disagree.
But if I keep waiting until I am “perfect,”
I will never start.
And someone else will always speak the words I was too afraid to say.
So I decided to start doing something small for myself:
- Write more.
- Share more.
- Be a bit more honest.
- Be a bit more visible.
Not to be famous.
But to be free.
Free from the fear of always imagining the worst.
Free from the habit of always staying silent.
Free from the version of myself that I no longer want to be.
I want to learn to see myself differently:
- not as a coward,
- not as someone always too late to speak,
but as someone who is in progress
someone who is trying, learning, and becoming better.
Because at the end of the day, this is what I believe:
I don’t need to be perfect to share.
I just need to be honest, willing to grow,
and brave enough to start.
And maybe, just maybe,
by learning to express myself,
I can also help someone else who feels exactly the same.
AS
The Andree Perspective 