Have you ever felt stressed, not because you lost an opportunity, but because you were afraid you might lose it?
Recently, I saw this happen in one of my organization. One of my friends wanted to swap serving schedules with someone else. They already got permission to take leave, but the leader didn’t approve the swap. Technically, nothing bad happened – they still got their leave.
But still… they were really frustrated.
They tried hard to convince others, “This is about humanity… about giving the same opportunity, but just in a different time. Why can’t we just swap?”
From the outside, it looked like a simple schedule issue. But underneath, it felt like something deeper: a fear of losing opportunity.
What’s Really Behind the Fear of Losing a Chance?
Leadership is not just about “who’s available”
At first, my instinct as a leader was very straightforward.
I wanted to explain the thinking process behind giving opportunities and setting schedules.
For us, it’s not only about:
- Who is free on that date?
But also about things like: - Is this person’s vocal character suitable for that team today?
- Does this person’s technical skill balance well with the others?
- Will the whole team dynamic work?
Sometimes we choose a certain person not because others are “less spiritual” or “less loved,” but simply because for this particular set, their voice, skill, or energy fits better.
From a leadership side, it’s quite technical.
But my friend still insisted: “We’re doing the right thing. We just swap our schedule. What’s wrong with that?”
And that’s when I started to ask myself a deeper question.
Are we afraid because we know, deep inside, we’re not ready?
I began to wonder:
Are they really fighting for “humanity” and “fairness”?
Or are they actually afraid that if they let go of this one opportunity… they won’t get it back?
Sometimes we say:
- “It’s about equality.”
- “It’s about justice.”
- “It’s about everyone getting the same chance.”
But inside, the real fear might be:
“What if I lose this chance… because I’m actually not good enough?”
“What if they don’t give it back to me later, because I don’t deserve it?”
This mindset is not only in ministry.
It appears in our daily life too:
- When someone else gets promoted.
- When a friend is chosen for a project.
- When another person gets the spotlight.
We start to feel stressed, anxious, or even jealous—not always because something unfair happened, but because we are scared this proves we are less than others.
If we really believe we’re capable, why are we so stressed?
I started thinking like this:
If I am truly confident in my capability,
if I know I am growing, learning, and doing my best…
Then why should I panic if I don’t get this one chance?
Maybe I won’t get to do it now.
Maybe this particular schedule or project is not for me this time.
But if I keep preparing myself, upgrading my skills, and being faithful in what I can do today, won’t other opportunities come?
The question shifts from:
- “How do I keep this opportunity?”
to - “How do I become the kind of person who will always be given new opportunities?”
Because then it’s no longer about that one date on the schedule.
It’s about who we are becoming.
Opportunity Doesn’t Come by Luck
At the end of the day, this is what I realized:
Opportunity doesn’t come just because we are lucky.
Most of the time, it comes because we deserve it.
Not “deserve” in an arrogant way, like “I am better than everyone else,”
but in a growth mindset way:
- We prepared.
- We trained.
- We showed consistency.
- We built character.
- We stayed faithful even when we were not seen.
So instead of fighting so hard not to “lose” one schedule or one moment,
maybe it’s better to:
- Use this time to improve our skills.
- Work on our character and attitude.
- Build genuine confidence, not just demand fairness.
Because if we grow into the kind of person who is truly ready,
opportunities don’t just come once.
They will keep coming back.
And when they do, we won’t need to beg for them.
We’ll simply be ready to step in.
AS
The Andree Perspective 